Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Familiar Poem of Season's Greetings

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the nether
Not a blogger was blogging, not even Bellweather
Their posts were scheduled for prearranged times
Most likely were poems with silly little rhymes

Their children were nestled all snug in their beds
While the parents had 25-man Naxx in their heads
With Leyola, Wimzig, and Bashertin specced Ice
They were a trio of Lovely, Naughty, and Nice

Meanwhile in Ironforge, there was a loud "clank!"
The group was in LFG, asking "need DPS and tank!"
Bash Ported to IF to buy reagents and dust
thinking "I must grind my rep, I MUST I MUST!"

The heat of the forge made sweat beads appear
As they rolled down his brows, his nose and his ear
He stopped by the bank, where he saw such a site
A jolly man in red, with beard of snow white

An interesting fellow, with gadgets and printers
Bash knew right away it was Greatfather Winter;
"Oh mage," greatfather said, "how timely that you came!
My reindeer was kidnapped, but I forgot his name!"

"Was it Dasher, Dancer, Prancer? No Blitzen?
Comet, Cupid, Donder? No, wait! It was Metzen!
I need him back, because he crafted my sleigh
So go off to Lost Rigger cove! Off off and away!"

Not since the BC days of Magister's Terrace
Bash flew to Kalimdor, to the deserts of Tanaris
He arrived at the cove, and saw Metzen stabled
Bound and chained, quite clearly disabled

Invisibility up, he sneaked to the roof
He could hear the chains jingle, attached to each hoof
As Bash drew out his wand and jumped to the ground
A mob of Southsea pirates cluttered around

They wore swashbuckler clothes, wielded swords on each hand
Their faces were covered by the desert sand
With murderous intent, they threatened the gnome
"We'll slice ya and dice ya, then mail you back home!"

Then a surge of rage grew in old Bashertin's eyes
The pirates instead foretold their own demise
The bandits were quick when they gave the mage chase
But suddenly they were all Frost nova'd in place!

The mage blinked away quickly, like a warp-stalking lizard
Then he turned back to the mobs, and cast a huge Blizzard
The crits were enormous, giant numbers abound
When the spell was over, corpses littered the ground

Bashertin turned giddy, at the one-sided fight
And Metzen stared blankly back at the sight
Bash turned to the reindeer and said, "It's okay!"
"I came to rescue you, so you can craft the Greatfather's sleigh!"

With Metzen unbound, they escaped from the gorge
With Bash making a portal straight home to Ironforge
Soon, Greatfather Winter was again with his deer
Who happened to be a 450 engineer

Metzen crafted the sleigh, and they were off in a whistle
And they all flew like the down of a thistle
Bash heard him exclaim, knowing next year he'd be back,
"Merry Christmas to all, from Frost is the new Black!"


Ringo Flinthammer said...

Actually, we will hopefully have a new post up for the Feast of Winter's Veil in a few hours. The state of WoWModelViewer has made it difficult, though.

Happy holidays, either way!

LarĂ­sa said...

I'm afraid you won't pay a single dime
for my terrible efforts to write with a rhyme
about how much I love the home
of you, my favourite frost nuking gnome

Merry Christmas from your innkeeper!

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas to you, clever little gnome! Your poem gave me a Monday morning smile. /cheer

Bell said...

I'm honored to have provided you with end-rhyme.

<3s and a happy holidays to you.

Drazmor said...


I'd probably stay up all night trying to write something like that. And it probably wouldn't be very good.